Journal entry from 11/5/2008

Dear Mackenzie,

Today is November 5th, 2008 and I am going to start keeping a journal for you. There are so many things I want to say to you that you can't quite understand yet. Mostly, I just want you to know how much I love you, and how much you have changed my life for the better. I've waited so long for a beautiful baby girl, and you are so much more beautiful than I could have ever hoped for.

Your Daddy is over in Iraq right now fighting the war. He has been gone for about 11 months , most of your life so far. So it's just been you and I (and of course your grandparents!). I can't wait for him to come home and play with you, he is going to be such a great Daddy to you. You are going to love him so much. Right now, you are a feisty little thing, you understand the word "no" but refuse to obey it when you hear it! I think it will be quite funny to leave you alone with your Daddy for a day when he first gets back, kind of like a baptism by fire! You will be way too much for him to handle.

I wonder a lot about what you will be like when you grow up. I can already see a fire inside of you, you are feisty and demanding, and I love it. You are the most beautiful child I have ever seen.

Well this is the first entry of what will hopefully be a window for you to understand just how much you are loved, and how much happiness you have brought in to this world. I want to give this journal to you when you turn 18 years old, but I know I won't be able to keep my mouth quiet until then. And I won't write everyday, but I will often. I love you my sweet baby girl.


Love, Mommy.

What's the answer?

I was in the shower where I do a lot of my best thinking, and I started wondering about the questions I will be faced with when Mackenzie gets older. I had a flashback: My mother was the type to always say, "I think I'm dying!" when she was ill. One such time, I crawled in to her bed crying and asked her... "Mommy what happens if you die and the angels don't come? What if the devil gets here first?" She said to me in a very harsh tone, "If the devil comes near me I will beat the heck out of him!" And I believed her wholeheartedly, still do! She definitely put my mind at ease as a little girl.

What if Mackenzie wants me to promise that Mommy and Daddy will never, ever leave her? What if something does happen to Buddy and I? We prepare as best we can, but what do you say to a little girl? Do you comfort her and put her mind at ease and say, "Of course we will never leave you no matter what." Or do you tell her the honest truth, "We will be here for you as long as we can."

What if she asks if Mommy and Daddy will ever get divorced? My immediate response is, "Of course not!". But let's face it, divorce happens to the best of us sometimes. And although we don't foresee it happening and don't want it to happen... do you make a promise that you aren't sure can be kept? Who knows what the future holds. (But I never plan on divorcing Buddy!)

Some questions are easier than others, I just hope I know the right response when I'm faced with them.

Relay for Life 2010

On June 18th we took part in the Relay for Life. Our team, Cancer Sucks!, raised $810 for the American Cancer Society. (The announcer said we had the best team name of the night!) This was such a fun event, and we were definitely surrounded by good company! Basically we walk all night, because Cancer never sleeps. As long as one team member is on the track, the rest of us can have a good time!





















They supplied so much food and entertainment, we were kept very
happy. I look forward to participating again next year, but maybe not as a Team Captain!The whole family had a great time and we were glad to get to honor those in our family who have been taken by Cancer.