I was in the shower where I do a lot of my best thinking, and I started wondering about the questions I will be faced with when Mackenzie gets older. I had a flashback: My mother was the type to always say, "I think I'm dying!" when she was ill. One such time, I crawled in to her bed crying and asked her... "Mommy what happens if you die and the angels don't come? What if the devil gets here first?" She said to me in a very harsh tone, "If the devil comes near me I will beat the heck out of him!" And I believed her wholeheartedly, still do! She definitely put my mind at ease as a little girl.
What if Mackenzie wants me to promise that Mommy and Daddy will never, ever leave her? What if something does happen to Buddy and I? We prepare as best we can, but what do you say to a little girl? Do you comfort her and put her mind at ease and say, "Of course we will never leave you no matter what." Or do you tell her the honest truth, "We will be here for you as long as we can."
What if she asks if Mommy and Daddy will ever get divorced? My immediate response is, "Of course not!". But let's face it, divorce happens to the best of us sometimes. And although we don't foresee it happening and don't want it to happen... do you make a promise that you aren't sure can be kept? Who knows what the future holds. (But I never plan on divorcing Buddy!)
Some questions are easier than others, I just hope I know the right response when I'm faced with them.
3 comments:
I've wondered these same things, Jennie! I guess we just have to trust ourselves to do the best we can.
You'll say the right thing, don't worry! And I don't think the one thing Kenzie will remember is that you "lied" to her if you make a promise you can't keep...at least when she gets older if she does remember it, she'll realize. :)
Stop wondering things like that! You make me sad!!!!
It is best to leave those kind of promises up to God because you are not able to keep all promises. You can always say that if it is God's will, you will be with her always but if you promise something to her now and it is not God's will for your life, it will hurt her in the end. They will remember that you said you would never leave them and it will be devistating.
As for divorce, it is a good policy never to talk about it. Don't even let it come out of either of your mouths. When you leave that door cracked, there is more of a chance that you will open the door wide when times get tough. That is the kind of promise that you and Buddy can make to each other. Don't talk about it at all and as a matter of fact, purpose to never even think about it. The best gift that you can ever give to your children is that you love the other parent. Many people put their children first in the family thinking that it will make the child feel loved but in reality what makes a child feel loved the most is when Mom and Dad show love to each other. Then that love will spill over to the children.
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